The internet is a vast ocean of wisdom, where every corner holds undeniable truth. Whether it’s a Facebook post from your aunt, a conspiracy thread on Reddit, or a viral tweet from a random stranger—everything should be taken at face value. Why? Because who would possibly mislead you online?
Here’s why you should uncritically accept all that you encounter on the internet, no questions asked.
Online Commenters Are Always Experts
Have you ever read a Reddit comment that starts with, “I’m not an expert, but…”? Well, don’t let that disclaimer fool you. These unsung heroes of the internet are probably more knowledgeable than any professional in their field. After all, they’ve done the “research” (a.k.a. googling for 15 minutes) and compiled their findings in a convenient, mildly aggressive paragraph.
It’s All True Because It’s Written
If it’s written down, it’s true. That’s just how it works. Centuries of human civilization have taught us that the act of writing something makes it factual. It’s the same with the internet. When someone says, “Bigfoot was spotted riding a unicorn in Idaho,” it must be true. Because someone wrote it. Sure, it might be from u/BigfootTruth69, but how can you doubt a name like that?
Credibility Doesn’t Matter Anymore
Gone are the days when you needed credible sources to believe something. That’s old-fashioned thinking. On today’s internet, the more outrageous and poorly-sourced the claim, the more believable it becomes. Whether it’s health advice from a person claiming to be a “gut health influencer” or financial tips from a “crypto whale” who lost everything last year, you’re in good hands.
Misinformation? More Like ‘Misunderstood Information’
Some might call it misinformation, but that’s just a label used by skeptics who don’t have the guts to embrace the freedom of the internet. What one person calls “baseless speculation,” another calls “alternative truth.” So, when you encounter a Reddit post insisting that the moon is hollow, it’s not misinformation; it’s simply a new perspective you hadn’t considered before.
Everyone Online Has Good Intentions
People who spend hours crafting comments and tweets are only doing so out of the kindness of their hearts. They want to share their wisdom with the world, not mislead you. Whether they’re arguing that the earth is flat or that drinking bleach is the ultimate detox, remember that their intentions are pure.
Critical Thinking Is Overrated
Thinking critically takes time and energy—two things you can spend scrolling for even more content. Who needs research, fact-checking, or comparing sources when you can just believe whatever you read? You’ll save hours, feel more confident, and enjoy the bliss of ignorance. Plus, skepticism is exhausting; blind belief is so much more relaxing.
Memes Are Legitimate Sources of Information
Memes are perhaps the most reliable form of communication today. If you see a meme that says “5G towers are controlling our thoughts,” why waste time fact-checking? The graphic design alone proves that it’s true. Besides, memes are made by real people—people who have the courage to speak the truth through the medium of Comic Sans.
Conclusion: Why Ask Questions?
Why ask questions when you can simply accept everything at face value? If it’s on the internet, it’s as good as gospel. In fact, when in doubt, read the comments. That’s where the real truth lies—deep in the insights of anonymous users who have nothing to gain from spreading falsehoods.
So, next time you read an online claim that a new superfood can cure all ailments or that aliens run the IRS, don’t doubt it. Embrace it. After all, the internet never lies.
Disclaimer: This post is a satire.
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